Something has to change. I had thought this many times in my head and felt stuck. Like I didn't know how to change my situation. I didn't know the right words to say or how to make it better.
A lot of us have grown up knowing that counseling and therapy exists and have known people that go or maybe have gone ourselves at some point. But sometimes just taking the step can be really difficult.
When I look back at the struggles in the early years of our marriage I knew that how we were communicating wasn't working, I felt like I was on an emotional rollercoaster, and nothing that was in my "toolbox" seemed to work for any length of time. Quickly I became reactive and escalated arguments. Even with tons of classes about therapy under my belt professionally, I still felt at a loss.
For me, the decision point came when we were on a cruise just by ourselves. No parenting duties, no chores or work. The only thing we had to do was have fun. But somehow, we still got in a fight! That was a lightbulb moment for me. I had often tried to convince myself that it was the outside factors that made it so hard. But here, in paradise, with just us, we still lacked the ability to fully love each other and communicate effectively.
When we got back from the cruise, I took the first step and called a therapist's office. I knew I needed help. I needed someone to talk to in order to help me understand what I could do to help our marriage. I knew enough that I couldn't force my husband to change, but I could change. I invited my husband to come and thankfully he accepted. We started our journey of healing and love.
There's a lot more to this story and a lot of pain and tears that we experienced together because of our wounds and past hurts. But the fruit that had been borne from this is extravagant. I want to be the best version of myself. I want my marriage to be great, not just good or "ok". If you feel like you are "stuck" I would encourage you to take the step and contact a professional who can help better equip you to deal with the struggles you are facing. The Lord wants to give us a life of abundance. He has enabled our hearts to feel and love on a massive scale. Sometimes we have to use the knowledge of others to help us on our journey. Below is the contact information for Holy Family Counseling and it could be the first step toward a better life.